A Letter to General Aoun

Dear General Aoun,

As you should know, the presidential elections in Lebanon are approaching. And you are one of the most distinguished characters applying for the position. Your application will be certainly treated with the utmost respect that it deserves. We wish you best of luck.

However, as you should know, Lebanon is going through dire times. And since you have always cared for Lebanon more than you cared for yourself, sacrificing a lifetime for the benefit of the country, we assume that you are always willing to listen to what some of the poor people of Lebanon have to say.

Here’s what we have to say.

As you should know, Hassan Nasrallah is the main leader of the Shiites. Nevertheless, Hassan Nasrallah is not the president of the parliament, the highest position attainable by someone from his sect. This position is currently occupied by Oustaz Nabih Berri.

As you should know, Saad Hariri is the main leader of the Sunnites. Nonetheless, Saad Hariri is not the president of the cabinet. It is Fouad Siniora that president.

Initially, we were under the impression that you were under the impression that Hariri is the president of the cabinet, and Nasrallah is the president of the parliament. Hence your obsession with the presidency of Lebanon. But given the fact that you curse Siniora and his government at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, therefore we came to the conclusion that you are not under any false impression, and that you are clearly aware who manages the cabinet and who manages the parliament.

So given that none of the major leaders are in the key positions, we wish to ask you the following questions:

Is it fair to have the leader of the Christians be himself the president of Lebanon?

Or should we have in this position another Christian, with a great personality but a little more neutral than the leader of the Christians?

Someone who is at equal distance between Shiites and Sunnites?

Someone who does not curse Siniora and Hariri morning, noon and evening? Someone who knows that these two dudes are not so insignificant to the Sunnite community, and hence they should be respected? Someone who does not seem eager to start a war with the Sunnis following any minor argument. We have seen in the past stubborn leaders enthusiastic to start wars left and right.

Someone who is strong and yet flexible. Someone who listens... to you, to Geagea and to all Lebanese gurus before taking a decision. Someone who you can guide with your eternal wisdom.

Don’t you think it is a little unfair that the Christian leader should be the president of Lebanon while the Druze leader has no such privilege? You speak of neglected Christian community... what about the Druze?

Unless you do not consider yourself to be the leader of the Christians, we urge you to reflect a bit on the above ideas before sending your resume for the Job. You have always believed in the “great people of great Lebanon” (sha3ba Loubnan al 3azim). Therefore we believe that you will easily find (at least) one Christian who you think is qualified for the task (there are one million of these great people, damn it!!).

Dear general Aoun, we wish you best of luck in your career but we also urge you to correct course. Instead of bickering over this little seat of the presidency, we ask you to become the great general of the neutral Lebanon. A Lebanon neither with modernity nor with antiquity. A Lebanon as it has always been and as it will always be. A link between West and East. A lighthouse in the sea of culture and passion.